Moyes Men Musings

Moyes v. Wild 2010

2010-08-02T21:48:00.001-07:00

Who wouldn't want to spend four days in the wilderness with these guys?!

Last year Paul and Dustin embarked on the inaugural Moyes v. Wild adventure to the Wenaha River in Northeastern Oregon. They spent three thrilling days gathering wood to keep warm and dry in the constant rain and topped the excitement off with an early trip to Walla Walla to watch the worst movie ever. After hearing our greatly exaggerated lies about MVW 2009, Gary decided to come along for MVW 2010. Here are the results:

We chose Dutch Flat Lake as our destination.

Paul's wildly successful figure four deadfall trap.

We made a raft to take us to the island in the middle of the lake.

Then we made the raft a pyre and let it float out into the lake. The other people there surely knew we were not to be trifled with.

Moyes vs. Wild - The Aftermath

2009-06-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

Since I've very limited on time, I will begin to post pictures and then try to comment on them later. Short story - much fun, near death (flooding river), lots of bugs, no game.

Moyes vs. Not So Wild

2009-06-02T12:43:00.001-07:00

We are only 9 days away, any takers for Moyes vs. Not So Wild? You may have noticed the name change. Let's face, we are no longer grizzled men as the result of years of emanuel labor. We are softies. Moyes vs. Wild is essentially a backpacking trip into the Wenaha River for a few days of fishing and camping. If it so happens we can snare some woodland fare, so be it, we will eat them, but for the most part its just an easy backpacking trip.

We will be packing in all the necessary food stuffs to survive the three days, so know one will have to eat their own feces (that was my poop reference for the month mom). If anyone wants to go but feels like they lack the necessary equipment, let me know, I have tons of gear.

Actually, I feel the new name for the adventure should be called Lost Boys from here on out. Hobo Stew anyone!

Music stimulates the Brain

2009-04-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

Dustin, Didn't you used to play your electric Guitar to your girls at night? Anyway I saw this and it reminded me of you.

The Date is Set for Moyes v. Wild I

2009-03-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

All those with working knees mark your calendars for June 12-14. On that weekend the Moyes men, and the junior Moyes men (Steve, Rob, Ryan) will venture into the Eagle Cap Wildnerness in Northeast Oregon to prove our mettle!!!

Moyes vs. Wild - Sleeping Arrangements

2009-03-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

I agree with Dustin, I think I will bring my backpacking tent, but first option of shelter is to make your own. I think I will bring my sleeping bag and pad though because its all fun and games until you don't get any sleep for a night or two.

As for woodland fare, YouTube has some good videos on setting snares. I've created and set snares, but I honestly don't remember if we caught anything or not. My main worry is that I don't really know how to skin any creature that may be dumb enough to get snared by me.

By the way, I call no cannibalism...

Moyes vs. Wild - rules

2009-03-09T16:28:00.000-07:00

Talking with Gary last night, I think we need to laydown a few ground rules. I just don't know what they are.

One rule I think should be put into place is all fire needs to be made with either:
a.) One of the many friction methods
b.) Pop can and sun
c.) Ice

Here are some other items up for discussion:
To tent or not to tent?
Eating of raw fish?
Snaring of woodland game?

On a side note, Gary doesn't think its possible to snare woodland game. I am taking that as a personal challenge. I don't know if its possible or not, but I think it is.

Discuss

That was Dustin mom, yell at him...

2009-03-09T16:10:00.000-07:00

Pee and Poop

2009-03-09T16:06:00.001-07:00

Pee and poop, pee and poop.

A Wild Hair

2009-03-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

Don't you love the names of small town hair salons? Do they really think they are being creative? I think you have to get a license to cut hair or have a salon, part of that application should be a forbidding of improper spelling of words to form your salon. It's not cute. When Napolean Dynamite said he got his hair cut at the "Cuttin' Corral", those of us from small towns knew instantly that it was spelled Kuttin' Korral. My guess is the sign showed fence posts or logs arranged to form the letters for Kuttin' Korral.

Every town of at least 3000 - 4000 people has a salon called either the Hair Affair, the Wild Hair, or some phonetic K sounding girls name followed by Kurl's (Kathy's Kurls), of course there will always be the tricky spelling of the name as well.

However, I will have to give props to one salon that I saw in the tiny town of Merit, Texas. It's salon name? The Curl up and Dye. I like it.

If I ever started a salon, I'd call it Manelining Hairoin. It would bring in a whole new clientele that typically doesn't get their hair cut.

Or how about If I Cut You, You Will Dye for the goth crowd. I'll bet Edward Scissorhands is jealous I thought of that name first.

Moyes vs. Wild Update

2009-03-05T18:06:00.000-08:00

So I guess you've heard our plan to raise money for Frank's surgery is going great... 2 points if you can name the movie.

So I think we've decided that Moyes vs. Wild will take place in the Eagle Cap Wilderness outside of LaGrande, OR. Its got all the elements needed for a true survivalist, its almost equal distance between Portland and Idaho, it has fish in the streams, wood to be burned and bear poo for nut gathering.

We're plannning Moyes vs. Wild in two stages, opposite of what the original plan is. Realizing that there men among us with bad knees (Gary and Dad) and weak constitution (Ryan), we will have the hardcore survival outing/backpacking first, and use the opportunity to scout an area for Moyes vs. Wild II where we can drive to camp spot and have some comforts if needed.

We've started a gear list here for those of you who are interested in the first go around. I have much gear if anyone needs to borrow anything, let me know. http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=p2GRyg3N7vgfuSxXIv2ndbw

When A Picture Needs A Thousand Words

2009-02-26T16:26:00.001-08:00

Long ago my friend and I were driving up to the Coast Range of Oregon to do some motorcycle riding. It was about 8:00 AM on a Saturday morning. We passed a guy in a small logging town that was walking down the street wearing boxer shorts, a womens blouse, and one rubber boot. That's its. Right there we decided the ultimate reality TV show would be one called," The Previous 24 hours", because I bet there is some amazing story to that guy's previous 24 hours.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but there are some pictures that I think need to be accompanied by a couple thousand words just to tell the story. This is one of them. Somehow I wish I was that parrot because that guy just looks cool. He should be involved in a show called,"The Last 20 Years". I'll bet that guy has some stories.

Get Ready to Drink Your Pee!!!

2009-02-26T16:05:00.000-08:00

So we've decided that we are going to do a Moyes vs. Wild weekend coming up here in early summer, late spring. Probably do a very tame one, and then a more hardcore one where Dustin has promised to squeeze the excess water out of Ryan's poo. All those who are in say "aye"...

On Survival

2009-02-26T16:00:00.000-08:00

While Dustin and I were musing about our survival adventures, I happened upon a Survivalist Blog. Two words... Awesome.

Here is one of the titles to a post:

Eating Road Kill

Road kill has been a viable source of meat for as long as vehicles have been speeding down roads...

and another good one:

Keep Your Preparedness Plans To Yourself
The "Loose Lips Sink Ships" slogan was coined during World War II warning people to keep their mouths shut to limit the amount of information enemie spies could glean from those who worked toward the nations survival.
Your loose lips can sink your best SHTF preparations...

By the way, I found out that SHTF is survivalist jargon for "poop hits the fan". Not a direct translation but I think you get the picture.

And now my favorite...

Outdoor Defecation Techniques

There are several techniques you can use to smooth the process of relieving yourself outdoors. Herein are several of my favorite...

One Of The Best Commercials Of All Time

2008-06-10T09:37:00.001-07:00

2008-05-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team

More Quotes From The Bus

2008-05-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't ridden the bus much lately and not at all late at night when the real crazies come out. Last night I had the pleasure of a late night bus ride and heard these two gems:

Woman to Man with Skateboard: "How fast can you go on that thing?"

Man: "The fastest I have gone is 50 MPH."

Woman: "Yeah, I have gone about 50 MPH, too."

Man: "I have heard about people going 75 MPH, but you definitely don't want to go faster than that."

Man: [Describing a "12 Step Program" designed to help people get jobs and take control of their lives] "It is great, they say after the program you get a career-type job and are set for life."

Same Woman as the skateboarding conversation above: "That sounds great. What kind of requirements do they have to get into the program?"

Man: "I don't think they have any requirements, you just go. I guess it helps if you don't have a criminal record."

Woman: "Crap!!! [Or a similar phrase.]"

Food for thought.

2008-05-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what would happen if you got scared half to death.........twice?

They say you should always leave the table hungry.......but I can't seem to wait that long.

Ramblings

2008-05-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad!

Live each moment as if your hair is on fire!

Do we really know what's up?

2008-05-22T18:05:00.000-07:00

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! If you are UP to it, you might try building UP at list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of you time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP because my time is UP,

Political thoughts

2008-04-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

Liz and I took the kids down to Manti for conference weekend and past this pickup in Moroni Utah. While we claim no political affiliation, we still thought this was pretty funny.

Urgent news

2008-04-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

A quote to share with your wife.

2008-04-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted."

I could stare at this all day...

2008-04-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round

2008-04-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

Most of my commuting time is spent on the bus and I have encountered many "interesting" people, especially when I have to work late and take the late evening busses. So, I wanted to throw out a post on some things I overheard on the morning and evening bus yesterday. This may become a running post as there is no end to the amazing sights, smells and sounds (mostly smells) on the public bus system.

One twenty-something girl to her twenty-something friend:

"My mom was so surprised when my baby came out white."

Man yelling to everyone at bus stop and pointing to seated lady:

"Y'all! This b**** a rat! Don't talk to her, she a rat!" Response: "I'd rather be a rat than a murderer like you."

Two men sitting across from each other, recognize each other:

"Hey man, when did you get out?"

Pearls of Parenting Wisdom

2008-03-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

I heard this today, "Don't raise your hand to your children, it exposes your midsection."

Gentlmen... START YOUR ENGINES!!!

2008-03-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

A lot can happen in four seconds. Most importantly, that is the amount of time it takes for Ryan to cross the finish line after I have when go-kart racing. Brother in law Ryan had an interview this past week here in Portland. He had some free time before flying home on Friday so we went to Malibu Raceway for some go-kart racing. On this track the only goal is time improvement, not head to head competition, but I think I made my point.

Provo Jobs

2008-03-05T09:23:00.000-08:00

As most of us reading this blog have at least spent some time in Provo, and probably looked for jobs there, I am sure most of you will agree that for some reason I was not surprised to read this article:

Torture with water at Provo-based company alleged in lawsuit
By Jens Dana
Deseret Morning News
Published: March 5, 2008
PROVO — A former salesman at a Utah County company claims that his boss had subjected him to an interrogation technique known as waterboarding during a motivational training exercise.
In response, executives at Prosper Inc. say the ex-employee is just after money.

According to a lawsuit filed last month in 4th District Court, on May 29, Joshua Christopherson, a team manager for Prosper Inc., a Provo-based business that offers educational training, asked for volunteers for a motivational exercise.

Chad Hudgens, a 26-year-old salesman from Provo, said he volunteered for the activity, and said he did not know what was to follow.

Christopherson then led his team to a hill outside the office, the lawsuit states, and instructed team members to hold Hudgens by the arms and legs. He then "slowly poured a gallon jug of water over Hudgens' mouth and nostrils," making it impossible for Hudgens to breath, according to the lawsuit.

"At the conclusion of his abusive demonstration, Christopherson told the team that he wanted them to work as hard on making sales as Chad had worked to breathe while he was being waterboarded," the suit stated.

Hudgens said Prosper took no action when he reported the incident to the company's human resources department later that day. But Prosper President Dave Ellis said the firm conducted a thorough investigation that contradicts Hudgens' account.

"There are huge time gaps that makes you question some of the credibility of the case," Ellis said.

Hudgens didn't report the incident for more than a month, Ellis said. Prosper immediately put Christopherson on suspension for two weeks while an outside investigator was called into interview people who witnessed the event, Ellis said.

He was later allowed to come back because, according to witnesses, the incident "was not that serious."

"It was not even remotely extrapolated to waterboarding," he said.

According to witnesses, Hudgens knew what was going to happen before he volunteered and he was "jovial and laughing about it," Ellis said. Afterwards, he accompanied the rest of his co-workers to a water-skiing and water-tubing activity.

Ellis added Hudgens didn't exhibit any symptoms of sleeplessness, anxiety and depression, as the suit claims he developed after the incident.

"He wasn't claiming that until he lawyered up," he said.

Sean Egan, attorney for Hudgens, said his client's reaction was similar to victims who endured an assault or other traumatic experience.

"It was very upsetting to him," Egan said. "He didn't know what to do."

In his suit, Hudgens also claims Prosper engaged in "physically and emotionally abusive and intimidating conduct for the express purpose of increasing the productivity of the team." Specifically, he claimed Christopherson would use a permanent marker to draw mustaches on underperforming employees, routinely removed chairs from employees who did not meet performance goals, and carried a large, wooden paddle that "he routinely struck on tables and desktops."

Ellis refuted all those claims. He said Prosper was a 2007 finalist for Utah Work/Life Award, and the company has a solid reputation as a "workplace friendly" environment.

"This is nothing like how we treat our employees," he said.

Hudgens wants $10,000 for damages. Ellis said his company will fight the lawsuit because they worry that it's a shakedown for money.

"We don't want to be intimidated by that," he said. "We'll be vindicated in the legal process."

Egan said he was equally optimistic in a potential trial's outcome.

"We're happy to let a jury decide," he said.

Another Unfortunate News Incident

2008-03-04T16:18:00.000-08:00

Couldn't the Co-Anchor Handle this Story?

2008-03-04T16:09:00.001-08:00

Wow. I mean, really. That is just unfortunate.

They've Gone to Plaid!!!

2008-02-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

This is a story of a man who updated the quality of his wardrobe from barely acceptable work attire to "gay" in a single night.

Throughtout my brief working career I have never had a solid set of "work" clothes and have always gotten by on some pretty old and ratty pants, shirts and ties with subtle (and not so subtle) stains on them and a few sweaters that I throw on to cover the shirts with the most egregious stains. I have two suits, both of which get worn way too frequently simply because I have to wear dress clothes to work everyday. One is literally worn to the point of beginning to see the cloth of my pockets underneath and the other has a small irremovable paint line on the front of the pants (thank you painter guys that came to the office at night and did not post any "Wet Paint" signs).

Jess and I decided it was time to pick up some new, and swell, work gear with a little of the money we got from tax returns this year so we went to Burlington Coat Factory and Ross and I left a handsome man. I am not kidding, I look phine. Proof? Today I stopped off at a convenience store for a pop and candy bar after a meeting in my full attorney regalia. The total of my concessions came to $2.07. I handed the clerk (who had an earring in his right ear!!!) three ones and he handed me a single and said, "Here, you owe me seven cents." I didn't understand what he said and so I gave him a questioning look and he asked if I would rather have all the change and I finally realized his intentions and smiled and thanked him. This whole time he is giving me this doe-eyed look that I usually get from hot womans... and then things got weird. "Do you like cinnamon?" he asked. "Ummm... yeah." "Do you want some of my gum?" "Ummmm.... okay." I took the offering as he told me he would "see me next time" in a really creepy voice and I exited the situation.

Conclusion, my style of dress has gone completely from one side of the spectrum, rolling in the pasture just before heading off to work, all the way to..... Gay Man! That is the very pinnacle of style!!! I knew that year in retail buying would pay off some day.

Moyes Luck

2008-02-25T18:06:00.000-08:00

I now officially have a car more cursed than any of dad's car, or at least I think. My truck was dented, once again, today for the 5th time in about six months. It all started a couple of months ago when some wonderful church member side swiped it in the church parking lot, and conviently forgot to tell me (still bitter about that one if you can't tell). So that was the end of the right rear door. Then about 2 weeks later I was driving down the freeway when the car next to me decides he wants in my lane, but couldn't wait for me to get out of it. So that dented the left side front and rear door and the bed.

I went about 5 months before a nice lady in the neighborhood backed into the right rear corner of the truck and made the short bed or really short oblong bed. Then last week when I went home to help dad shovel snow and snowmobling our area was hit with a hail storm that brought down hail a little smaller than golf balls. It completely destroyed both cars, especially the Audi, but the truck's roof, hood, and both front fenders have dents all over them.

Then, just in time to start a wonderful Monday morning, as I was going to work today and big piece of steel fell off the back of a truck and smacked the left side of the bed leaving me another mark of bad luck.

Top that dad...

Mmmm.... brefasss....

2008-02-22T07:32:00.001-08:00

Times are a changing

2008-02-21T18:14:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, dad has mellowed quite a bit in the latter years. Can you imagine him doing this 20 years ago?

An Amazing Collection of Letters

2008-02-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

I had an epiphany today driving home from work. On a billboard near the side of the road were the words "Champ" and "Chump." However, while driving I mistook one to read "Chomp." It was then that I realized that you can insert all but one vowels into the letters Ch_mp and come up with a bona fide word, dang you Chemp.

Can anyone think of any similar consonant combinations which, without rearranging the consonants, will form a word using all of the different vowels?

Source of Hilary's Strength Revealed

2008-02-15T09:14:00.000-08:00

HEIL HILARY!!!

You think you had a bad day

2008-02-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

Heeerrrres Johnny

2008-02-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

I like to blog

Musings

2008-02-13T20:42:00.000-08:00

I'm excited to share musings that will/would get ridiculed on other forums. Right now I have nothing witty to say. I'm in Idaho for a few days to go snowmobiling with Dad and it ended up taking me 14 hours to get hear. I am weary... but some day I will post something that is so funny you will literally die... I'm tired...

BYU Cheerleaders

2008-02-13T10:45:00.001-08:00

The BYU cheer squad sure dropped off after Rob left:

How to Post

2008-02-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

Answers to the first two questions about this revolutionary new blog.

1) All comments are welcome. Also, I do not mean to offend the Moyes Women by setting this up for the guys. The reason is that we don't usually post on the family blogs and I miss my Dad and brothers and want to hear about how everything is going.

2) How to post. First, at the blog page go up to the top right and sign in. Second, click on the "New Post" icon. Third, fill in the information, add pictures etc... and then click "Publish Post." I myself am not an expert so please inquire with the esteemed Moyes Women for further instruction or advanced blogging techniques.

Moyes Men Unite

2008-02-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today that we Moyes Men (that includes Steve, Ryan and Rob) need a forum to contribute to the collective intelligence of the blogging world without cluttering the blogs about our families (thanks to all the Moyes Women for the great job) with our idiocy. I actually started a personal blog a few months ago on which I intended to put my own personal musings and things that I found funny; I never did post a thing because I am lazy and didn't think I would post enough to be worth the time. However, I figured I could start a blog for all the Moyes Men to use as desired so we can keep the blog fresh with new material and worth checking out once in a while. SO, I invite the Moyes Men to post any thoughts, videos, personal experiences, pictures and the like, be they funny, spiritual, about BYU sports or whatever. PLEASE KEEP THINGS CLEAN, WHEN IN DOUBT ERR ON THE SIDE OF NONINCLUSION. Blog away gentlemen!