Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
More Quotes From The Bus
I haven't ridden the bus much lately and not at all late at night when the real crazies come out. Last night I had the pleasure of a late night bus ride and heard these two gems:
Woman to Man with Skateboard: "How fast can you go on that thing?"
Man: "The fastest I have gone is 50 MPH."
Woman: "Yeah, I have gone about 50 MPH, too."
Man: "I have heard about people going 75 MPH, but you definitely don't want to go faster than that."
Man: [Describing a "12 Step Program" designed to help people get jobs and take control of their lives] "It is great, they say after the program you get a career-type job and are set for life."
Same Woman as the skateboarding conversation above: "That sounds great. What kind of requirements do they have to get into the program?"
Man: "I don't think they have any requirements, you just go. I guess it helps if you don't have a criminal record."
Woman: "Crap!!! [Or a similar phrase.]"
Woman to Man with Skateboard: "How fast can you go on that thing?"
Man: "The fastest I have gone is 50 MPH."
Woman: "Yeah, I have gone about 50 MPH, too."
Man: "I have heard about people going 75 MPH, but you definitely don't want to go faster than that."
Man: [Describing a "12 Step Program" designed to help people get jobs and take control of their lives] "It is great, they say after the program you get a career-type job and are set for life."
Same Woman as the skateboarding conversation above: "That sounds great. What kind of requirements do they have to get into the program?"
Man: "I don't think they have any requirements, you just go. I guess it helps if you don't have a criminal record."
Woman: "Crap!!! [Or a similar phrase.]"
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Food for thought.
Ever wonder what would happen if you got scared half to death.........twice?
They say you should always leave the table hungry.......but I can't seem to wait that long.
They say you should always leave the table hungry.......but I can't seem to wait that long.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Ramblings
Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad!
Live each moment as if your hair is on fire!
Live each moment as if your hair is on fire!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Do we really know what's up?
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! If you are UP to it, you might try building UP at list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of you time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP because my time is UP,
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Political thoughts
Liz and I took the kids down to Manti for conference weekend and past this pickup in Moroni Utah. While we claim no political affiliation, we still thought this was pretty funny.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round
Most of my commuting time is spent on the bus and I have encountered many "interesting" people, especially when I have to work late and take the late evening busses. So, I wanted to throw out a post on some things I overheard on the morning and evening bus yesterday. This may become a running post as there is no end to the amazing sights, smells and sounds (mostly smells) on the public bus system.
One twenty-something girl to her twenty-something friend:
"My mom was so surprised when my baby came out white."
Man yelling to everyone at bus stop and pointing to seated lady:
"Y'all! This b**** a rat! Don't talk to her, she a rat!" Response: "I'd rather be a rat than a murderer like you."
Two men sitting across from each other, recognize each other:
"Hey man, when did you get out?"
One twenty-something girl to her twenty-something friend:
"My mom was so surprised when my baby came out white."
Man yelling to everyone at bus stop and pointing to seated lady:
"Y'all! This b**** a rat! Don't talk to her, she a rat!" Response: "I'd rather be a rat than a murderer like you."
Two men sitting across from each other, recognize each other:
"Hey man, when did you get out?"
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Pearls of Parenting Wisdom
I heard this today, "Don't raise your hand to your children, it exposes your midsection."
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Gentlmen... START YOUR ENGINES!!!
A lot can happen in four seconds. Most importantly, that is the amount of time it takes for Ryan to cross the finish line after I have when go-kart racing. Brother in law Ryan had an interview this past week here in Portland. He had some free time before flying home on Friday so we went to Malibu Raceway for some go-kart racing. On this track the only goal is time improvement, not head to head competition, but I think I made my point.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Provo Jobs
As most of us reading this blog have at least spent some time in Provo, and probably looked for jobs there, I am sure most of you will agree that for some reason I was not surprised to read this article:
Torture with water at Provo-based company alleged in lawsuit
By Jens Dana
Deseret Morning News
Published: March 5, 2008
PROVO — A former salesman at a Utah County company claims that his boss had subjected him to an interrogation technique known as waterboarding during a motivational training exercise.
In response, executives at Prosper Inc. say the ex-employee is just after money.
According to a lawsuit filed last month in 4th District Court, on May 29, Joshua Christopherson, a team manager for Prosper Inc., a Provo-based business that offers educational training, asked for volunteers for a motivational exercise.
Chad Hudgens, a 26-year-old salesman from Provo, said he volunteered for the activity, and said he did not know what was to follow.
Christopherson then led his team to a hill outside the office, the lawsuit states, and instructed team members to hold Hudgens by the arms and legs. He then "slowly poured a gallon jug of water over Hudgens' mouth and nostrils," making it impossible for Hudgens to breath, according to the lawsuit.
"At the conclusion of his abusive demonstration, Christopherson told the team that he wanted them to work as hard on making sales as Chad had worked to breathe while he was being waterboarded," the suit stated.
Hudgens said Prosper took no action when he reported the incident to the company's human resources department later that day. But Prosper President Dave Ellis said the firm conducted a thorough investigation that contradicts Hudgens' account.
"There are huge time gaps that makes you question some of the credibility of the case," Ellis said.
Hudgens didn't report the incident for more than a month, Ellis said. Prosper immediately put Christopherson on suspension for two weeks while an outside investigator was called into interview people who witnessed the event, Ellis said.
He was later allowed to come back because, according to witnesses, the incident "was not that serious."
"It was not even remotely extrapolated to waterboarding," he said.
According to witnesses, Hudgens knew what was going to happen before he volunteered and he was "jovial and laughing about it," Ellis said. Afterwards, he accompanied the rest of his co-workers to a water-skiing and water-tubing activity.
Ellis added Hudgens didn't exhibit any symptoms of sleeplessness, anxiety and depression, as the suit claims he developed after the incident.
"He wasn't claiming that until he lawyered up," he said.
Sean Egan, attorney for Hudgens, said his client's reaction was similar to victims who endured an assault or other traumatic experience.
"It was very upsetting to him," Egan said. "He didn't know what to do."
In his suit, Hudgens also claims Prosper engaged in "physically and emotionally abusive and intimidating conduct for the express purpose of increasing the productivity of the team." Specifically, he claimed Christopherson would use a permanent marker to draw mustaches on underperforming employees, routinely removed chairs from employees who did not meet performance goals, and carried a large, wooden paddle that "he routinely struck on tables and desktops."
Ellis refuted all those claims. He said Prosper was a 2007 finalist for Utah Work/Life Award, and the company has a solid reputation as a "workplace friendly" environment.
"This is nothing like how we treat our employees," he said.
Hudgens wants $10,000 for damages. Ellis said his company will fight the lawsuit because they worry that it's a shakedown for money.
"We don't want to be intimidated by that," he said. "We'll be vindicated in the legal process."
Egan said he was equally optimistic in a potential trial's outcome.
"We're happy to let a jury decide," he said.
Torture with water at Provo-based company alleged in lawsuit
By Jens Dana
Deseret Morning News
Published: March 5, 2008
PROVO — A former salesman at a Utah County company claims that his boss had subjected him to an interrogation technique known as waterboarding during a motivational training exercise.
In response, executives at Prosper Inc. say the ex-employee is just after money.
According to a lawsuit filed last month in 4th District Court, on May 29, Joshua Christopherson, a team manager for Prosper Inc., a Provo-based business that offers educational training, asked for volunteers for a motivational exercise.
Chad Hudgens, a 26-year-old salesman from Provo, said he volunteered for the activity, and said he did not know what was to follow.
Christopherson then led his team to a hill outside the office, the lawsuit states, and instructed team members to hold Hudgens by the arms and legs. He then "slowly poured a gallon jug of water over Hudgens' mouth and nostrils," making it impossible for Hudgens to breath, according to the lawsuit.
"At the conclusion of his abusive demonstration, Christopherson told the team that he wanted them to work as hard on making sales as Chad had worked to breathe while he was being waterboarded," the suit stated.
Hudgens said Prosper took no action when he reported the incident to the company's human resources department later that day. But Prosper President Dave Ellis said the firm conducted a thorough investigation that contradicts Hudgens' account.
"There are huge time gaps that makes you question some of the credibility of the case," Ellis said.
Hudgens didn't report the incident for more than a month, Ellis said. Prosper immediately put Christopherson on suspension for two weeks while an outside investigator was called into interview people who witnessed the event, Ellis said.
He was later allowed to come back because, according to witnesses, the incident "was not that serious."
"It was not even remotely extrapolated to waterboarding," he said.
According to witnesses, Hudgens knew what was going to happen before he volunteered and he was "jovial and laughing about it," Ellis said. Afterwards, he accompanied the rest of his co-workers to a water-skiing and water-tubing activity.
Ellis added Hudgens didn't exhibit any symptoms of sleeplessness, anxiety and depression, as the suit claims he developed after the incident.
"He wasn't claiming that until he lawyered up," he said.
Sean Egan, attorney for Hudgens, said his client's reaction was similar to victims who endured an assault or other traumatic experience.
"It was very upsetting to him," Egan said. "He didn't know what to do."
In his suit, Hudgens also claims Prosper engaged in "physically and emotionally abusive and intimidating conduct for the express purpose of increasing the productivity of the team." Specifically, he claimed Christopherson would use a permanent marker to draw mustaches on underperforming employees, routinely removed chairs from employees who did not meet performance goals, and carried a large, wooden paddle that "he routinely struck on tables and desktops."
Ellis refuted all those claims. He said Prosper was a 2007 finalist for Utah Work/Life Award, and the company has a solid reputation as a "workplace friendly" environment.
"This is nothing like how we treat our employees," he said.
Hudgens wants $10,000 for damages. Ellis said his company will fight the lawsuit because they worry that it's a shakedown for money.
"We don't want to be intimidated by that," he said. "We'll be vindicated in the legal process."
Egan said he was equally optimistic in a potential trial's outcome.
"We're happy to let a jury decide," he said.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
They've Gone to Plaid!!!
This is a story of a man who updated the quality of his wardrobe from barely acceptable work attire to "gay" in a single night.
Throughtout my brief working career I have never had a solid set of "work" clothes and have always gotten by on some pretty old and ratty pants, shirts and ties with subtle (and not so subtle) stains on them and a few sweaters that I throw on to cover the shirts with the most egregious stains. I have two suits, both of which get worn way too frequently simply because I have to wear dress clothes to work everyday. One is literally worn to the point of beginning to see the cloth of my pockets underneath and the other has a small irremovable paint line on the front of the pants (thank you painter guys that came to the office at night and did not post any "Wet Paint" signs).
Jess and I decided it was time to pick up some new, and swell, work gear with a little of the money we got from tax returns this year so we went to Burlington Coat Factory and Ross and I left a handsome man. I am not kidding, I look phine. Proof? Today I stopped off at a convenience store for a pop and candy bar after a meeting in my full attorney regalia. The total of my concessions came to $2.07. I handed the clerk (who had an earring in his right ear!!!) three ones and he handed me a single and said, "Here, you owe me seven cents." I didn't understand what he said and so I gave him a questioning look and he asked if I would rather have all the change and I finally realized his intentions and smiled and thanked him. This whole time he is giving me this doe-eyed look that I usually get from hot womans... and then things got weird. "Do you like cinnamon?" he asked. "Ummm... yeah." "Do you want some of my gum?" "Ummmm.... okay." I took the offering as he told me he would "see me next time" in a really creepy voice and I exited the situation.
Conclusion, my style of dress has gone completely from one side of the spectrum, rolling in the pasture just before heading off to work, all the way to..... Gay Man! That is the very pinnacle of style!!! I knew that year in retail buying would pay off some day.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Moyes Luck
I now officially have a car more cursed than any of dad's car, or at least I think. My truck was dented, once again, today for the 5th time in about six months. It all started a couple of months ago when some wonderful church member side swiped it in the church parking lot, and conviently forgot to tell me (still bitter about that one if you can't tell). So that was the end of the right rear door. Then about 2 weeks later I was driving down the freeway when the car next to me decides he wants in my lane, but couldn't wait for me to get out of it. So that dented the left side front and rear door and the bed.
I went about 5 months before a nice lady in the neighborhood backed into the right rear corner of the truck and made the short bed or really short oblong bed. Then last week when I went home to help dad shovel snow and snowmobling our area was hit with a hail storm that brought down hail a little smaller than golf balls. It completely destroyed both cars, especially the Audi, but the truck's roof, hood, and both front fenders have dents all over them.
Then, just in time to start a wonderful Monday morning, as I was going to work today and big piece of steel fell off the back of a truck and smacked the left side of the bed leaving me another mark of bad luck.
Top that dad...
I went about 5 months before a nice lady in the neighborhood backed into the right rear corner of the truck and made the short bed or really short oblong bed. Then last week when I went home to help dad shovel snow and snowmobling our area was hit with a hail storm that brought down hail a little smaller than golf balls. It completely destroyed both cars, especially the Audi, but the truck's roof, hood, and both front fenders have dents all over them.
Then, just in time to start a wonderful Monday morning, as I was going to work today and big piece of steel fell off the back of a truck and smacked the left side of the bed leaving me another mark of bad luck.
Top that dad...
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Times are a changing
As most of you know, dad has mellowed quite a bit in the latter years. Can you imagine him doing this 20 years ago?
Monday, February 18, 2008
An Amazing Collection of Letters
I had an epiphany today driving home from work. On a billboard near the side of the road were the words "Champ" and "Chump." However, while driving I mistook one to read "Chomp." It was then that I realized that you can insert all but one vowels into the letters Ch_mp and come up with a bona fide word, dang you Chemp.
Can anyone think of any similar consonant combinations which, without rearranging the consonants, will form a word using all of the different vowels?
Can anyone think of any similar consonant combinations which, without rearranging the consonants, will form a word using all of the different vowels?
Friday, February 15, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
More Postings
Gary and Steve, I sent invites to your yahoo accounts. You should be able to achieve sign-onability through those invites.
Musings
I'm excited to share musings that will/would get ridiculed on other forums. Right now I have nothing witty to say. I'm in Idaho for a few days to go snowmobiling with Dad and it ended up taking me 14 hours to get hear. I am weary... but some day I will post something that is so funny you will literally die... I'm tired...
How to Post
Answers to the first two questions about this revolutionary new blog.
1) All comments are welcome. Also, I do not mean to offend the Moyes Women by setting this up for the guys. The reason is that we don't usually post on the family blogs and I miss my Dad and brothers and want to hear about how everything is going.
2) How to post. First, at the blog page go up to the top right and sign in. Second, click on the "New Post" icon. Third, fill in the information, add pictures etc... and then click "Publish Post." I myself am not an expert so please inquire with the esteemed Moyes Women for further instruction or advanced blogging techniques.
1) All comments are welcome. Also, I do not mean to offend the Moyes Women by setting this up for the guys. The reason is that we don't usually post on the family blogs and I miss my Dad and brothers and want to hear about how everything is going.
2) How to post. First, at the blog page go up to the top right and sign in. Second, click on the "New Post" icon. Third, fill in the information, add pictures etc... and then click "Publish Post." I myself am not an expert so please inquire with the esteemed Moyes Women for further instruction or advanced blogging techniques.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Moyes Men Unite
I was thinking today that we Moyes Men (that includes Steve, Ryan and Rob) need a forum to contribute to the collective intelligence of the blogging world without cluttering the blogs about our families (thanks to all the Moyes Women for the great job) with our idiocy. I actually started a personal blog a few months ago on which I intended to put my own personal musings and things that I found funny; I never did post a thing because I am lazy and didn't think I would post enough to be worth the time. However, I figured I could start a blog for all the Moyes Men to use as desired so we can keep the blog fresh with new material and worth checking out once in a while. SO, I invite the Moyes Men to post any thoughts, videos, personal experiences, pictures and the like, be they funny, spiritual, about BYU sports or whatever. PLEASE KEEP THINGS CLEAN, WHEN IN DOUBT ERR ON THE SIDE OF NONINCLUSION. Blog away gentlemen!
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